I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
