so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
