Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
