why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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