I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
