yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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