It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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