this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
