I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
