that's an acceptable place to lick
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
