I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
