FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
