oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
