went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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