Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
