How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
