HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
