So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
be right there i have to get my cape
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
