He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
