I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
