i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
