Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
