it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
