so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
