I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
