He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
