You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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