Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Terrible idea I love it
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
