I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
