This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
