No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
