Only a mothe r could love this liver
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
