there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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