also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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