You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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