Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
