I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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