If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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