new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
