Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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