Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Fuck appropriateness.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
