i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
