I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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