I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
