You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
