I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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