I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
And then he peed in my hair
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