What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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