Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
