If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I've blown a few things in my day
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
