I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
